Things are going to change

A very familiar feeling has been tugging at me

Something I that I last felt first when I first graduated from secondary education, then after that when I graduated from polytechnic. 

Each of these times, I changed...for the better or worse.

Hang on, its going to change again.

laughing

I love laughing,
I love laughing so hard I can't breath
So hard that I feel like I'm going to drop dead


Its a reminder that we're all still alive
That we are all still more than just automatons going through our daily routine


So if I have to die, let me die laughing
Let me die knowing I lived.

Its not about the length of my stay, its about how colourful I can make it

Today

Today

I looked at the decisions that I have made.

I found the destinations that those decisions have brought me to

Some caused me to lose what I treasured

Others allowed me to fight for what I treasure.

I always wonder if I have made the right choice,

If I haven't just been screwing up.

I'm sure I have been screwing up,

So why? why do I still have such amazing people around me?

I'm afraid of the dark, being alone.

Yet I have people around me lighting up my life.

I'm afraid of feeling old, of being grown up

Yet all around me, people who know who I was told me that I will be fine.

I have done nothing to deserve all this,

I have even hurt people that I cared about.

Things that shouldn't have been done,

Lies that shouldn't been told,

I've done them all.

Yet...

Life goes on...

I just don't want it to go on without all of you :)

you

I'll kiss you everywhere, anywhere.

Realization

Today, just before losing contact with the world of half month... I suddenly had the urge to look at what my friends are doing, what my family has been really up to and how everyone feels.

Everytime I look back, I lost something along the way

I lost friends

I lost feelings

I lost laughter

I lost love

Then what have I gained?

No one will ever read this blog, yet I do update it once in awhile.

Maybe a few years down the road, someone will come and read this.

Read this, and know that I'm missing you

Read this, and know that I'd love to receive a call from you

Please find me again, in case I managed to lose you too.

A tablespoon of feelings

I looked into the bottle for my feelings

I found some love, some hope, some regret and some passion

It was such a confusing jumble

Like a rainbow all mixed up

Yet they did not smudge

They were clear as the Caribbean sea

I took a whole tablespoon of it

And added it into the pie that is my Life

It might look like its a coincidence

It might feel like its an accident

But its no coincidence :)

Life

Life... is not that complicated

Its simple,

It must be, since I'm so glad

I'm glad I lived my life this way

I'm glad everything is the way it is

I'm glad that I met you :)